“If they don’t let us go home tomorrow, I’m seriously gonna scream!” Kiara is grinning as she says it, but it’s a true word spoken in jest. At least, she wishes it were true - in reality, she’ll calmly accept whatever the doctor says is best. Sometimes it’s frustrating having self-control. It would be more fun to lose it!
Tomorrow is Rourke’s birthday. He’ll be turning ten. When asked by friends what he wants for his birthday, he’s said for weeks, “I want my sister home.”
We’ve built our campaign #keephopealive, and hope has carried us far. But “hope deferred makes the heart sick”. (Proverbs 13:12). We have to be careful what we hope for. We can be weakened by waiting too long.
But faith trumps hope, because faith is certain. Faith is knowing what we’re allowed to hope for, having proof of what’s to come.
Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the certainty of things not seen. (Hebrews 11:1)
A quick study from my engineering days: The position of the centre of gravity of an object affects its stability. The lower the centre of gravity (G) is, the more stable the object. The higher it is the more likely the object is to topple over if it is pushed.
This is the reason why Kiara won’t throw a tantrum tomorrow; the reason why Richard and I will walk our children through whatever happens. Our hope has a centre of gravity that anchors it to the truth. We may want to lean towards the hope of being home, we may want to lean towards seeing more miraculous healing. And we can lean those ways in hope, without toppling if they don’t come through, because the central weight of our hope lies in certainty.
We are certain of the goodness of God. We are certain that He knows the number of our days. We are certain that He knows the plans He has for us. Our God is for us, not against us. He will never leave us, nor forsake us.
For these reasons, we march into tomorrow, unshakable in the depths of our souls.
Kiara helps Kade and Tyden make cards for Rourke’s birthday - a role she has played for many years. She helps them with their spelling, glancing at me to confirm she’s right.
You’re very kind. You are the champion of the world. You even conquer the world. That’s how cool you are. Rock-bomb!
Kiara and I smile over his head at his pluckiness. I am reminded of my conversation with Richard this morning. We were questioning the wisdom of celebrating leaving the hospital when we still have such a risky road ahead. We settled on the fact that we have the right to celebrate each moment. Perhaps even the responsibility. Truthfully, there is a corner of our minds that still doesn’t know if these are our last weeks with her. It’s easy not to consider the worst when it’s not your heart that will fall again.
And so we will celebrate and we will hope and we will lean towards what we hope for. But we will not lose our balance. Faith anchored in certain truth.